| Through the Eye of the Needle |
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Living off the remnants of the vast body of expertise I once acquired, during my boy scout years, in how to tie knots - who doesn't know them: the reef knot, the bowline knot and all those other knots - the thought struck me that my method of sewing on buttons is anchored in a fallacy. It's the first stitch that does it. As soon as I have threaded the appropriate length of cotton through the eye of the needle, I invariably tie a knot in the two ends to make sure the button doesn't escape before I have fixed it in place. As happens so often, I imagine that I would explain this to my daughter, probably with some emphasis on the risk of all this modest handiwork soon going to waste if my method were not adhered to. Although I remember my mother going about it considerably differently, with a single length of thread and a quasi casual air. It has taken me several decades - how often does one sew on buttons? - to appreciate that reels and pulleys have been invented for a specific reason and that a length of cotton that has been pulled in and out and twined 'round ten or twenty times tends not to be particularly prone to shifting. With which insight I not only instantly rendered my miniature reef knot obsolete, but had to concede that my method is, in fact, likely to encourage the button to drop off. Think about it: the entire length of thread of the button I have mercilessly fixed in place using my special method continuously wears in exactly the same places, whereas the slightly loose cotton that is applied using the maternal convenience method continually meets the sharp edges of the button in slightly different places, which may in due course cause the button to loosen up a bit, but is nevertheless guaranteed significantly to enhance its affiliation with the underlying garment. And in case you wonder whether I haven't anything better to do, let me assure you that it's the small things in life that underpin one's deeper thoughts. It's never too late for the small things. In fact, I'll bet you anything that God himself also started with the humble fly. Which is why I will spare it for the time being. |