|
While I was sewing the plush tail back on her stuffed Pikechu, my daughter asked me to guess what we would be having for dinner. I already knew we'd be having Brussels sprouts, the myth of her having enjoyed same having heralded her return from horse-riding camp, but because I didn't want to be a spoilsport, I pretended to be blissfully unaware. So did she when, having suggested seven different words starting with s, I finally owned up to the truth. My daughter proclaimed with revulsion that she loathed and despised Brussels sprouts, inspired by my idea of building tension, and bluntly demanded yet another word for a foodstuff starting with s as long as it wasn't sauerkraut. The moment of truth arrived: the wife optimistically started spooning out and my daughter, having meekly inquired just how fond I was of Brussels sprouts, found herself having to live up to the myth. Having speared a sprout with her fork, she observed it from all angles and, after a brief pause, put it into her mouth. I'm not sure whether it was the drama club of which she is a member or whether the power of persuasion of her features is genetically determined, but it's amazing how few resources she needed to convince me that we weren't exactly dealing with a tasty meal. My father's heart melted, however, and under her mother's disapproving gaze I slid her sprouts onto my own plate and said, just give them to me, sweetie, shall I cut your meat for you? Those among you who have principles are probably jumping up and down, calling my actions weak and damaging to parental authority and all future variations thereof. But that's not how it is. That one spoonful of lumpy porridge, that one forkful of limp Brussels sprout, that's where it all started, that's where revulsion first went awry as it was from this moment onwards that the relevant frame of mind would irrevocably be associated with authority and disciplinary action. The porridge had to be swallowed, the sprouts consumed, in educational skirmishes that sometimes soared to hysterical heights. While growing up the sensation of "tasty" was expanded to include "beautiful", and as a result "ugly" was treated with the same negativity as "nasty". Behold the source of this partial derailment of civilisation as we know it. |
BACK